What’s an interesting (job) certification I can get for under $500?

I’m getting older. My speed doesn’t match that of the younger people anymore. Unfortunately that was the experience I was thrusted into by way of family business. The family business closed and now I’ve been working for companies with the same experience I’ve gathered in that field for many years. I’m being reprimanded too much. My experience just isn’t enough anymore. They want “efficiency”. They don’t care about safety, or cleanliness, making the product presentable, or precaution. They just want the job done. I’m also a people person so this physical job just doesn’t match me anymore. I need a job that’s interesting, but without the constant restraint of time restrictions and physical labor. Lifeguard sounds interesting, but that’s probably for the younger crowd.

Also, I have two years of college experience mostly studying law.
That got me nowhere when I ran out of tuition money.

I don’t know: what can you guys come up with?
You can go right up to $ 500 if necessary, if a certification costs that much.
I just need to get out of this track before I’m reprimanded into termination.
..and homelessness.

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