This is long… Can anyone PLEASE respond? Should I leave home?
I’m 34, going on 35. Due to an illness, I was unable to work and hold a position that would pay for my rent and living expenses. I was struck with an illness when I was 26-27, and lasted me a long time. Last year, I have slowly recovered from my illness, and was able and lucky to get a job hear home. I am able to pay for my living expenses now, but temporarily because I’m a contractor. I wanted to save some money at home, and therefore I haven’t left home as soon as I got my first paycheck. Plus I had a loan to pay. I still have one more loan and a credit card account to pay.
I still have these two debts, but I want to leave home now because I can’t stand my parents’ characters anymore. My parents used to sell pirated souveniers. My mom always had loud arguments with my father. My father got into an affair that lasted years, and gave my mom a STD. My mom got mad, let all of her children know what happened (I was around 15-16 when this happened. My brother and sister even younger.) She never got divorced though. I confronted why she’s with my father. She said she was powerless to get a divorce.
We’ve been living here for the past 13 years. My father operated an illegal rooming house for illegal immigrants. I was mad and confronted my mother for letting this happen. She told me “So what are we going to live on?” My father also was against me dating a darker person at one time. He also got very mad when I had a black friend. And he also was against me going to a black church. I asked if he was racist recently, and he said he wasn’t. Bullshit.
Anyway, my parents got fined heavily for operating the illegal rooming house. They don’t have money to pay for the attorney, the repairs that need to be done, and not even the building taxes. They got a huge loan for the expenses related to the illegal rooming house. But since they don’t operate it anymore, they won’t be able to pay for the building taxes, the loan, and other expenses. My sister told them to sell the building a long time ago, and my father never did that. Instead, he took the money that my sister gave him ($ 90,000 to pay off the mortgage) which they couldn’t pay. Because my sister helped them, they were never able to realize that their income wasn’t not enough to pay off the bills.
I am realizing that my parents are not the people I should look up to anymore. I want to abandon them. But if I do, then they will be in a huge mess and will lose their buildings to the government due to lack of inability to pay for taxes.
Should I leave them (as I’m realizing my parents are horrible people) and let them lose everything or stay with them and help them financially because they let me stay at home when I was ill?