My husband and I have been married for nine months, but have been separated for the past two. Before we got married and into the first couple months things were pretty good, he was slightly irresponsible but in comparison with his parents, he wasn’t too bad. We rented for our whole relationship (2+ years) and after 6 months of marriage I finally talked him into buying our first home. However, the denial for a mortgage loan unveiled a huge problem underneath the surface. My husband is $ 21,000 in debt with student loans for an incomplete education. He had 2 medical accounts still in collection from 2005, all 4 of this student loans marked as negatives, record of 19 missed payments, all boiling down to a drastically low score of 547. Did I mention he is 21 years old? This lit the fire that consumed our relationship. One month later I got fed up and moved out with our daughter. In his defense two of the four loans were court order for his parents to pay. His mother paid all of her $ 1,000, but not before she missed 4 payments. His father just stopped paying his $ 11,000 loan all together, and not wanting to get put in jail, just never told my husband. The other two loans that he is responsible for are not perfect either. One was late once and the other was late 3 times. Now we’ve been talking again and he is telling me that he can fix it if I give him the chance. I have a couple of friends that have offered us a place to stay so we can focus on paying off his loans, but I can’t live like this for the next ten years of our life. I almost feel like if I wasn’t a factor he could care less about the situation, and I find myself being the only one doing research on his loans and what we could do to better this. Would we have the opportunity to clear all this up relatively soon if we focused our efforts, or are we pretty much doomed for the next 7-10 years?
I forgot to mention, he does have one positive account. He took out a loan to pay for my wedding ring and got it paid off without missing a payment.
-His debt to credit ratio is at 95%
-I’m 21 years old as well, and also have student loans to deal with. However I haven’t missed any payments.
-I didn’t want to go into this but my husband, like his father, also has a problem with drinking and getting.. pushy when he is under the influence. This credit situation isn’t WHY I left, it was just what pushed me over the edge. I also didn’t want my daughter to grow up thinking thats ok for how a man should treat his wife. However, since then he has told me that he’s stopped drinking and is seeking out counseling so it never happens again.
Yes I understand that we are young and we have our whole lives to get a house, but his attitude towards money and his carefree attitude on spending it makes me nervous about him in the future. I can definitely be the one to handle our finances, but I feel like evenually he may just start keeping things from me and then it will all come down when I’m 42 year old with 3 more children. It’s just people around me think I am foolish for giving his another shot.