refinance what a struggle?

I am having a horrible time trying to refinance my current mortgage.Here is my issue, i amd in a intrest only mortgage that i want to refinance under the current rates to a principal and intrest, i owe 419000 but i have the cash to buy it down to be under the 417000 rate. My current bank that holds the mortgage is saying because i was late and have other loans under my name they wont refinance it. My credit union started to refi it and they ran my credit report because i was late about 4 months ago they reported it now my credit rating went from 680-690 to low 603. I added my wife to the refi so we can refiance we both make enough to pay the loan i am current on all my car loans and my mortgage is current i explained to the credit union i was late by 2 days about 4 months ago because of a issue i could not avoid. They dont care and now im struggling to refi and how come the 3 credit report companies rate my score from in the 550 to 650 and my wife who has a collection against her from a bill she refuses to pay she has ratings from 550 to 692 this rating stuff is bogus attempt to screw people up. I have over 20 k in the bank cash and i have over 250 k equity maybe more in my home and still they dont care what is your advise to help me refiance i always been given a loan in a week now its just impossible what should i do help please.

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