Mortgage company playing games need some advice please?

am lost and felt like i have been lied too by my mortage company. In 04 we bought a townhome for 174k had 2 loans, 1 for 140k that is a ARM and other for 35k. august of 05 we were approached by Countrywide that has our 1st loan telling us we have a value of 220k and you have about 35k in usable equity. We had about 25k in medical debt for my kids hospital bill. They suggested to roll that in with my 35k second. The selling point was to clear those payments to get ready to refinance my 1st which is a ARM to a fixed plan. Now i am getting these rate hikes now have a 10percent on my first and the payments are killing us. I went to countrywide to refinance, check my credit was 700, my income was fine. Then they send out a apparisal,came in at 185k, countrywide told me i cannot do anything. I hired my own appraiser came up with the samething, but he told me the property should have never been appraised at 220k when i took out the HELOC should have been 183k?
we live in a townhome community so all homes are alike. My appraiser that i hired showed me the sales during that time frame that countrywide showed a value of 220k. All the comparable sales were between 181-186. No other lending company will not help us get out of this 1st loan too. I keep trying to talk to Countrywide i find them rude and unhelpfull

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