Looking for some opinions!!!!?
It’s been 6 months now since my ex and I broke up after 10.5 years in a common law relationship. I caught him cheating on me with a 23yr old from work, my ex will be 35yrs old in a month. This has been a nasty breakup, came out of nowhere, we had just bought our first home 8 months prior which has created a financial mess. Needless to say, I took it hard, I do miss him and wish things could have been different. The day I caught him, I kicked him out and he moved in with her, they’ve been living together ever since.
Anyhow, he emailed me tonight and answered the “why” question I’ve been asking him for the last 6 months. His response as follows:
“Why. I don’t really know why. All I know is I could not continue that relationship any longer. It just went dry and another 10 years of that I could not handle. I needed to take my life back before it was too late. I wish there could have been an easier way but unfortunately there wasn’t. I am deeply sorry for all the pain I have caused and hopefully one day you can forgive me”
I guess I’m a little disappointed to know that my 10.5yr relationship ended because things became “dry” what a horrible and petty reason and completely contradicts all the other emails he wrote saying that he will always be regretful, the impact of his actions get worse everyday, that this isn’t what he wanted, he made a mistake, that he drinks every day to mask the pain…” How is drinking everyday getting your life back?!
He never communicated any dissatisfaction, who buys a house with someone 8 months prior with someone they don’t want to be with?!! It would have been the perfect time to leave when we discussed taking this “step” in our relationship. I believe that he has to justify his actions somehow in his mind to alleviate the guilt, any reason will do. It’s simply a rationalization for his selfish and deceitful actions. Also, what does he think, that his relationship with this 23yr old will always be in this “honeymoon” phase, relationships become mundane, especially after 10.5 years, it takes effort. There weren’t any signs and I mean that! I thought we had an amazing partnership, we never fought, sure bickered once in awhile, but we didn’t have any serious issues.
I’d like to hear other people’s opinions. What do you think of his answer? Any chance of a reconciliation? Does he still care about me/us?
And also, what about his new relationship? Moving in together so quickly and becoming serious after a decade long relationship?! Their relationship began with secrecy, lies and deceit, does something like this have the potential to last, also considering the 12yr age difference?!