I’m in an ongoing battle with my mom, It is a lose lose situation for me.. what are your opinions?
I am an 18 year old female, who works 2 part-time jobs and am building up my resume, who is going to community college as a full time student, getting very good grades, I pay car payments to my parents who I borrowed money from to buy my car, cell phone bills, and car insurance monthly which equals out to about $ 350 a month.. I always make my payments on time and sometimes even try to throw in extra cash to get my car payment over with faster… in which case my mom yells at me for giving her more than we agreed upon and how I’m stupid for doing so, I do not party, no drinking, no drugs for me. I am the middle child, I have a 23 year old brother who recently just bought a house with his girlfriend, and an 11 year old sister. My mom is an overweight stay at home mother. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and we couldn’t be happier, he and his family are my rocks.
As a child, my mom never seemed to really go off on any type of yelling spree’s and always seemed to be somewhat a joyful person. She was thin, got her hair done, and took care of herself.
When I was 7 years old, my mom got pregnant with my little sister. Everything was all good at first.
As the years progressed I went to having my own room, to having to share a room, and still do ( I am 18, she is 11 ). I was fine with it at first, but now since we are completely different age groups, it is very hard.
Over the past, I’d say about 5 years… especially when I started dating and my younger sister started to grow up my mother started getting very nasty. She would say very hurtful things to me, and I would have an attitude back and she would always try to put me at fault and tell me I am disrespectful. I get told I do nothing correctly around the house and I do everything wrong. So I stopped doing things around the house, I now get yelled at for not doing anything around the house, and get told I am very lazy, when I have lots of papers and studying to deal with, but I try to help out the best I can.
I am soon to by 19 years old and have been with my lovely boyfriend for over 4 years. My parents still do not allow us in my room, and my mom flips out when I ask to spend the night at either his house or stay at my house. In which case, at my house he sleeps downstairs on the couch, and at his house I sleep in his sisters room with the door shut… which she is more than aware of. So i more or less just stopped bring that situation up.
She tells me how much she loves my boyfriend all the time, but then tells me she shouldn’t have let me date so young.
I really don’t do anything wrong, I ask my close friends and family if they see anything and they tell me I just have the attitude pop up when she jumps down my throat.
Today for instance, she told me she didn’t want me driving in the snow, then she told me i can drive she will go with me.. I come downstairs to see a note on the table from my dad who was at work that read “heather, help mom clean the house today – dad” I very calmly asked my mom wait how come my little sisters name isn’t on her? and my little sister chimes in telling me to shutup, and who cares and just saying nasty comments. So i stomped over to my little sister and she screamed. I told her this is none of her business I am talking to my mother and my mom said don’t you even get mad at her she has nothing to do with anything! and it escalated from there. After me trying to stay calm and not be mean to my mother, only my sister my mom says “thank god there’s not a knife around here” and telling me to drive by myself today to my dentist appointment and she hopes I crash. She continues to tell me if she dies, it is all my fault. At the dinner table i asked my mom a question she said she wasn’t talking to me until she got an apology. I told her nicely i was not giving her one, and told her i think i deserve one for her more or less telling me she would have killed me today and hoped i would crash and die, she said “yup I said that, so what?” so she started yelling at getting angry and i calmly tried telling her my side of the story and she told me she didn’t care what i had to say and that it didn’t matter. So i went upstairs to my room. 2 minutes later she calls me down screaming my name, i said hold on i’m just trying to relax give me a minute.. so i went downstairs and she said i have 12 days to get out her house.. by jan 1st, which is in 2 weeks. and my college tuition is not being paid for.. and the tuition is due in 3 weeks and i have no way of paying for it and there is no way of taking out a loan right now i would never get it in time. I am able to move into my boyfriends house so that gives me food and shelter. but what about car insurance? and health insurance? and tuition. ugh
My sister is always favored by my mother… if my dad yells at her, my mom yells at my dad and my dad caves. My dad never says anything to defend me, and when he does he gets shot down by my mother. I told my mom i want us to go to