How does a mortgage forbearance agreement work?

My spouse has the 1st mortgage, which I am not named on, but I am on the 2nd. I can now make the monthly payments for both loans, but I can’t catch up the missed payments (3 months; $ 5,800). The lender wants my spouse to fill out paperwork, but we have been told that they will consider “household” income instead of just his income, which was zero when we fell behind. I am trying to keep the foreclosure off of my credit history, but I am not sure what I can do since I am not on the 1st mortgage.
I don’t need to refinance, so your answer does not help me with my question.

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