HELP.. Mortgage issues and family advise?

Hi I honestly need advise, it is getting us as a family very sick, we are not a family anymore because of the issues that I am about to tell you. Back in 1997 my parents had a major accident at their home and was very ill, they needed care so my husband and 2 children sold our house and the money we made from it built them (MY parents) and apartment down stairs from their home. Things were going OK privacy issues were shot out the window even though we told my parents you can’t just walk up or scream R U THERE?? by 2000 I had 3 children our family was growing and we sold the house and purchased a bigger house. ( NOW HERE IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN HILL) The house is gorgeous, but my parents can not afford it, they make $ 4,000 a month and with utilities our mortgage is approx $ 3,800, they will have no money for anything else, my dad was aware of this, there was NO pressure from us AT ALL, but my father said to my husband ” I need you as a co-signer” because I don’t make enough income. So, my husband said yes. Now we have been living together since, but during this time my family has fallen apart, my children get in trouble because they are to loud walking, always assumes dinner will be sent down, I usually take food out of my mouth to feed not only my children but my parents. Put it this way I could go on about the guilt an verbal abuse my children and I get this might sum it up for you NARCISSISTIC yup my mother is EXTREMELY narcissistic. I have 2 other brothers that will not even go to my parents funeral because they hate them so much. My mother has a big mouth and doesn’t know when to shut up. When I go to work and no one is home she sneaks up in out home and either steals from me or looks at my things, So now my husband has been working his ass off and after 12 we want to move, but my father senses that we don’t want to be here, and knows how we are starting to feel, and he is giving us digs like well if I leave this house I want you to rent downstairs and give me the money or this house will always be mine “Even though my husband and I are on the deed and loan they don’t pay a DIME!” they even collect the interest on the house during tax time because he said it’s HIS HOUSE , My husband has all the history of our mortgage payments and other major paper trails. But we are concerned because we want to go to them and tell them we want to leave, but my husband is a co-signer and if he doesn’t pay his credit will be ruined and we will not be able to get another mortgage. PLEASE HELP I know this is a long question but I do not know what to do. I feel bad for our family..
I wanted to make sure this is clarified: My parent do not pay anything not even cable, because my parents said they did us a favor!! WHATEVER.. Also, what we want to do is:
#1 MOVE OUT
#2 Break the news to them and not make the process misserable.
#3 Get a house and a mortgage, but we will be leaving everything. My dad stipulated that if this house is sold we are not getting anything.
#4 Should I not pay the mortgage anymore and save that money for a down payment?
#5 Should I force them to sell?
#6 If we stop paying they will start shutting all the utilities off and go into forclosure, we want it done as soon as possible…
My husband is on the loan as a co-signer my dad is first.

My husband,father,mother and I are all on the title

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