Fighting a lot with your fiance/e after purchasing house together…. normal?

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      Anonymous
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      My man and I purchased a house together and are fixing it in order to move there as soon as the refurbishment works are finished. We’ve been living together already for over a year, but he still has his place and I have (well, rent) mine — we’re here 99% of the time.

      I have an AWFUL temper and he’s rather patient and likes to negotiate rather than to fight. He tends to avoid conflict and hates arguing. However, sometimes it’s necessary to sort out our differences, we can’t always agree on every single thing. Anyhow…. ever since we started planning the refurbishment of the house, buying furniture and other stuff, we’ve been fighting a lot. We fight over the furniture (he bought several things without asking me first), over the bathroom tiles (he wanted beige and big, I wanted pink and he said no) and the floors, about how I want to remodel the kitchen and he doesn’t because it’ll be expensive, etc. etc. etc., which leads us to fights about other issues not directly related to the house but to our relationship in general.

      I’m sort of afraid that this could be the beginning of the end of my relationship, as dramatic as it sounds, and I don’t want to make a mistake by moving forward with this if we’re already having so many problems. On the other hand, I’ve heard & read that this happens a lot to couples that are about to marry and taking care of this kind of issues, so it may be normal (?). The other day I heard from a psychologist that one of the most stressful changes in life was moving to a new home, almost like a marriage, a divorce, having a kid, etc. So maybe this is what is triggering both of us and causing all the problems. I just don’t know. Any personal experiences that you’d like to share? Did you or your family members / friends go through the same? Am I just overreacting and most likely going through a phase that will be over when we’re done with the house thing? I certainly hope so……..



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