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- November 20, 2011 at 3:37 am #378307AnonymousInactive
I have been co-habitating with my boyfriend (bf) of three yrs. We talk about being married buying a house together, and having a family. I had always thought that meant it would happen all in that order; however, my bf has a slightly different answer. When marriage comes to conversation – he always responds as he doesn’t have the finances to get married right now. He wants to be able to have a decent wedding and nice ring. Though, when it comes to buying a house – the conversation goes a bit like this – he says he could afford to get a loan for a house with me and see if we can get pre-qualified though, I would have to put the down the house as he doesn’t have that kind of money saved. I am at the age in my life that I want to settle down, put down roots, be married and have a family – I had no idea I would be forced to make a choice to stay/breakup/or make a deal – this isn’t what I bargained for. My friends and family all ask me what I am going to go – they like my bf – he is a sweet guy of course – why I have been with him this long – but its true he isn’t bending over backwards to making it financially feasible to have it all that I start asking these sort of ?s – When is he going to get his stuff together? COMMIT!!! I feel I’m treading just as much water as he is as I stay with him knowing he can’t give me everything I want when I want it (I can’t help again to think to myself and do I realisitic expectations?? Can anyone give me this now with such a weary economy??) Who really knows what the future will bring? So, I think to myself – why not – let’s try for the home loan…HALT – all of a sudden common sense kicks in again and says WAIT – are you crazy!!! Have you gone nuts!!! You’re purchasing this home – he isn’t – he didn’t put anything in it!!! (He might be helping with the mortgage – but who really put the $ into getting this home – ME!What should I do? Do you think I should take the chance in love and take our relationship to another step – get the home….who knows… who said marriage and kids can’t follow? Or do you think this is the deal breaker – no marriage, no home?? Tell me what you think?
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