any other pregnant moms feel this way?
before me and my husband talked seriously about having a second child we just werent’ taking all the precautions not to get pregnant. then i decided that we needed to talk seriously about this and if it was the right time for us to do this. he said he was happy with his son and that maybe we should just wait a couple more years, and wait till i got atleast a year of schooling out of the way and got into a house. well, ta da!! 2 weeks later i was pregnat ( i was even setting up an appointment to get birth control that weekend) when i took the test my first thoughts were. oh my God, no way this isn’t happening. but i was happy at the same time. my husbands reaction was the complete opposite. he couldn’t be happier. we cam close to signing another lease for our two bedroom apartment. we were ok witht he fact that we weren’t gonna get a house and that was ok. we have family, a roof over our heads, and food on the table. then this flyer shows up on our door. “STOP RENTING AND COME HOME!” closing costs covered, down payment assistance. appliances included. sounded too good to be true but true it was. refigerator, dish washer, washer dryer, microwave, all stainless steel brand new house.2 story 4 bedroom 2 and a half bath sitting on a quarter acre of land. monthly payment including homeowners insurance and all that was only 905. a little over a 100 of what we’re paying now for our two bed two bathroom apartment. everything was all good. then we found out that my husbands credit wasn’t quite up to what they wanted. not that far off either. and my credit is great, i just don’t have the income. so we asked his mom to co sign.
everything was fine but now we’re being told that we no longer qualify for the 7500 dollar grant because his mom makes too much money and her name is on the lease. so we have to come up with 3500 dollars by the 30th this month. this whole pregnancy we have been excited to do a home birth which will cost 3120 dollars in total. we have a little over 2000 saved. his mom is saying i’m spoiled for wanted a home birth and that we need to give up that 2000 dollars to go towards the down payment. (and then she’ll help with the rest. two days ago she said she couldn’t afford to help us (even though she makes 15,000 a month, her house payment is only 1200, and she doesn’t have any special expenses or anything. and her husband makes 8,000 a month) and now as long as we give that 2000 up she’ll help us) and that there are no benefits to having a home birth and that its all for selfish reasons.
i didnt’ even want he help in the first place because as soon as that woman give any help she’ll hold it over your head till no tomorrow. and she’s saying that i need to make sacrifices for my family. i was in the middle of re endrolling in school 3 months after i dropped out (4 classes 4 nights a week 4 hours each class, plus going home and being a mom and wife was turning out to be difficult. i finished my term with the highest grades but decided i needed to take a break and then re enroll. i got burnt out.) but yeah i was re enrolling when my husband got a job offer. we were living in california, and the offer was in georgia. now we live in georgia. i left all my family behind. don’t tell me about needing to make sacrifices.
luckily my midwife is willing to accept whatever money we can give her by the time i’m 36 weeks and then we can make payments after that. i called our insurance company and to have the baby in the hospital will cost us 1000, to 2000 dollars more than having the baby at home. just to give a little detail on whats going on in my life right now
.throughout this pregnacy i get excited and then i feel distant from it. i feel that this baby is going to interfere with the time i spend with my son and its no longer going to be just me and my son throughout the day. and now when i feel the baby move (i’m 21 weeks) i don’t really get excited about it. not like how i felt with my son. yeah i feel the baby move but thats it. i don’t feel close. i was fine day before yesterday but after my husband told me what his mom as saying about me, this woman has some how managed to make me feel guilty for being pregnant and wanting a home birth. in the 4 years being with my husband i have found that there is no pleasing this woman no matter what you do. and i came to terms with that soon after moving here to georgia almost a year ago. she has somehow managed to make me feel inferior to her and that im not good enough for her son and i never will be in her eyes. it will take too long to go into detail to stuff this woman has done over the past 4 years. i was getting happy about being pregnant a few days ago. and then all this happened. any words of advice or anything?